last Ballet practice today before the big day tomorrow.Feeling slightly more confident about my doubles because I feel more stable now and less out of balance when I spin.Gosh I'm scared but there's nothing I can do.It will happen anyway.It will happen then it will be over soon enough so I need to stop worrying so much.
After the exam tomorrow,I'll be meeting bb at his place.He would have finished night shift by then and would probably be asleep. (:
Miss him so much already and it's only been 2 days.Today was one of the few days I didn't feel upset over nothing,I didn't start over-thinking all my nonsense and I was towards the understanding side.Maybe also because my period is here.I am so annoyed about that because for the last few consecutive years,my period came just before the day of my Ballet exam.
Anyway,I have told bb many times that he can tell me anything and all that,and I've just come to realize that when we're really close and close enough,he would tell me whatever he's thinking and feeling.Simply telling someone something you love and care for doesn't mean that the person will do just that.It takes time,and when the time comes for it to happen,it will come from the heart.It will come from within.
Sometimes I feel like such a bad girlfriend because it's my fault I start all the unnecessary arguments and my stubbornness and need to defend myself.I need to realize and make the change,and there's nothing to be ashamed about if he's telling me something truthful,because there's no one else that knows besides him and I.
I need to know that.I need to remember that.Thank you for always forgiving me,even when I didn't deserve it.Iloveyou. ♥